Thriving from Failure
It's a crazy world
Ever look back and think about all the crazy things that led up to you being where you are right now? Hopefully reading these doesn’t usually inspire the ‘how the hell did I get here’ feeling- but how we end up places is sometimes pretty wild.
In fact, I only met my first real mentor because I got rejected from every other company I applied to. This rejection sucked at the time but turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. To this day, this mentor challenges me and helps me see things in new perspectives. His mentorship and guidance was the inspiration to start chasing dreams I would have never had the courage to before.
Most articles, interviews, and news stories we see only highlight success. But failure is equally (if not more) important to understand.
The Pros of Failure
Nobody laughs at Albert Einstein for all of his failures…
Let’s start with a few reasons failure is awesome.
- Builds grit and character - Let’s be real, you’d get bored if nothing challenged you, and worse- you’d become boring pretty fast. The most interesting/ intelligent people are the ones that have experimented and are masters of trial and error.
- More than one way to get there - There’s no one path to “success”, you need to find what works for you. Be adaptable and open to things not always working as planned, you’ll be happier and more successful.
- Not permanent - Failure is temporary unless you give up.
On a more practical note, dealing with challenges/failure almost always comes up in interviews!
Welcome Disappointment
Like the phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”
Accept failure and disappointment and use it to your advantage.
- Use it as fire - The strongest fuel is often others telling us we can’t do something. Use your past failures as motivation to improve and succeed. Love the haters (#just do it)
- Use it as a lesson - Analyze which parts of your approach worked and which didn’t (more on this later). View each attempt as a chance to learn something new.
- Use it to reset and recalibrate - When something doesn’t work out take the time to make sure you know why you wanted it. Don't give up on everything that doesn’t work immediately, but reflect on what you’re really looking for. Dealing with failure/ disappointment is a great time to remind yourself what you’re working towards and to try a new approach from a fresh perspective.
Hell, turn it into something you can proudly wear and OWN IT. By far my favorite example of this is the anti-portfolio at BVP.
Be a Professional Failer
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison
There are three steps to becoming a professional failer (and yes, I know "failer" isn't a real word).
Reflect - Think through your biggest failures, don’t dismiss them or pretend they didn’t happen.
Get over yourself (<3) - You need to get over any embarrassment about the failure to move on from it. Remember- it’s not permeant. You’re going to learn from it. Everyone fails, you’re not alone!
Challenge yourself - Use failure and your disappointment as an opportunity for success and go through the following:
- What went wrong - be brutally honest here, it’s okay not to be 100% sure, but think about key things that didn’t go as well as you had wanted
- What led to it - this is where the reflection comes in. Was it because you were nervous? Felt unprepared? External factors you had 0 control over?
- Changing the outcome - what do you need to do next time to not make the same mistake or better position yourself for success (ex: ask more clarifying questions, get more feedback, etc.)
- Short term plan - ask yourself how you can make the absolute best of your current situation, come up with an immediate plan for short term things you can do despite what happened. Don’t give up!
- The long game - Take notes on what you want to work on/develop in the future. Write specific action steps for how you plan to practice them and create goals for yourself to ensure you’re improving.
Writing these things out on paper really helps you internalize key lessons to take away from the experience. This is how you learn, get further ahead, and keep a positive outlook for the future to sustain your Edge through rough points.
It Will All Work Out
You may be thinking, “this is advice is easy for someone to give when they aren’t dealing with the emotional aspects of disappointment or failure”. And I agree. Don’t try to dive into this process immediately, take time to work out how you feel and move on a bit first.
Take responsibility when needed, don’t blame yourself for disappointments out of your control, but take everything as a chance to learn.
Before starting the rotational program I’m currently in, I was selected to go to Singapore. I was unbelievably excited and told all my friends and family. A month later I was told they needed to send me to Chicago instead. Originally, I was pretty upset and didn't want to accept it. After the initial shock wore off I realized I needed to take my own advice. I slowly started going through this process and began to see Chicago as an opportunity to learn things I wouldn’t have in Singapore. I built out a plan to make the most out of it and since moving here, I’ve loved it more than I could have imagined. This wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't gotten in the right mindset and taken my time, so take time to clear your head.
---
Believe me, you’re pretty awesome. Things will work out for you, but 9/10 times it won’t be in the way you originally planned. Look back again at the opportunities you wouldn’t have had without some failure and remember that mindset when you’re facing disappointment (you’ll be amazed at how crazy life works out sometimes).