Avoid Complacency, Have Fun
I’ve seen people in their forties and fifties who can only talk about counting down the years until retirement. If you care about finding a career you love, that’s almost as lively as counting down the days until you die.
I’ve talked to a lot of these people who are totally risk averse, unwilling to break routine, and are scared of even small change. Why? Because they are my inspiration of what to never become. Harsh? Maybe. But complacency can get ugly and having a model of what to avoid is powerful.
The common denominator I noticed often stemmed from a lack of fun, interest, and engagement in their jobs. Or worse, their lives. Sadly, I don’t have good advice or suggestions for them. But this article isn’t for them. It’s for you. And like everything else on The Edge, it’s all about staying ahead of the curve and making sure you love and stay in control of your life.
Step 1 – Grab a mirror
I can’t tell you what will make you love life (if I could, I’d be able to retire before the people I mentioned before). Loving life and complacency are tied way more than people talk about. Yet somehow, not a single article on complacency talks about the importance of knowing yourself and what you want.
See, the best way to avoid complacency isn’t trying to avoid it. It’s figuring out what you want, and then chasing that. Go after what makes you happy and interests you. If you’re not sure what you want, think about the first thing that gets you excited after waking up, or what intrigues you to no end. If you settle here the road ahead will be way more difficult.
Excitement, desire, urgency, and fear. These emotions are the antithesis of complacency. They create your motivation and ambition.
Whatever you do, make sure you have some healthy balance of these in your life as these are the primal foundation of truly caring about something and largely make up what you enjoy.
So, take a look in the mirror – what makes you feel alive?
Do you want a job or career devoid of emotion and attachment? Or do you want one you truly care about and can grow with and develop through? Be brutally honest about this and put this desire first. Some people are naturally more ambitious than others and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The point of this is to start thinking about your end goal and to make sure you have an idea of what you want. That way, when things change, you will be willing and able to adapt and keep what matters to you. This is how you gain control and avoid complacency.
Besides, if you’re not happy, and what you’re working on won’t help you become happier in the future, then (assuming you want happiness) you’re missing the point. Ambition burns out before happiness does.
Get your ambition and interests to work together on projects that captivate you. Spend time thinking about what you want to learn next and keep that mirror nearby so when you’re ready to change positions or fields, you’ve already done your reflecting.
Step 2 – Systematically find fun ways to push yourself
Assuming you’re already chasing what you enjoy, now you just need to make sure the fun doesn’t stop. While the mirror test is great for transitions, you’ll want to create systematic ways to push yourself so you don’t get so comfortable you fall asleep and wake up 30 years older.
Because big transitions and changes can be scary and intimidating, you will want to get used to pushing yourself in smaller, less significant ways first. There are long and short-term techniques to ensure you don’t get caught in an inflexible routine that lets complacency creep in.
Because the people I mentioned earlier never practiced or gave up on creating a dynamic environment for themselves, they became stagnant – and then stuck.
Here a few of my favorite fairly simple ways you can push yourself and keep things fresh:
Rejection theory – Go out and try to get rejected. It can be anything from asking someone for their seat on the train to asking someone you haven’t talked to in a while to catch up. It doesn’t really matter what you do. By going out of your way to do things you think you will get rejected for, you internalize that most rejection doesn’t matter- and that’s powerful. Following this -
If it makes you nervous… - If you catch yourself even briefly thinking, “wow, I’m uncomfortable or nervous about this”– then you have to do it. Start this with small things that don’t matter much to grow your comfort zone. You’ll quickly start building confidence you never knew you could have. Soon, you’ll be pushing yourself to do all sorts of cool random things.
Just say “Yes” – this one’s self-explanatory and I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Try it for a week and see what fun things you end up doing with others to break your routine.
The point of these is to keep you on your toes so that you are more adaptable and willing to embrace change in the future. This will help you become more robust and stimulate at least one of the 4 key emotions we talked about before – excitement, desire, urgency, or fear.
For bigger decisions and changes in life, use longer-term techniques to push yourself. These are often less immediate but are where you actually start doing all of the things you set out to do from Step 1.
Pretend you are 80 – look back at your life while sitting on your rocking chair on your porch. What were your defining moments? When did you feel most alive? What would you regret not doing? – Back to the present. Go make your old self proud.
Surround yourself with the best – Explore the power of mentors, meet experts in your field, and surround yourself with people that make you strive to be better. Watch how much faster you’ll learn and develop.
Fun fact- before getting more serious about The Edge, I cold emailed a bunch of people that had started their own blogs and various content/writing companies. Not only did I get way more responses from total strangers than I ever thought I would, but they gave me a lot of great advice.
Hold yourself accountable to your goals– This deserves an entire post on its own on goal setting and productivity but I also want to mention it here. Set goals (and rewards/punishments) for yourself based on what you want to learn. All of the short-term self-development won’t add nearly as much value in your life without the fundamental backbone of setting goals for yourself to keep you motivated and moving forward.
Reflection – Go back to that mirror and ask - am I actually enjoying this crazy stuff I’m trying because someone on the internet said I should? You may find this entire article nonsense. That’s fine, it’s not for everyone. But – there will be those of you that find pushing yourselves in this way to be exhilarating and will be better because of it in the long run. Remember why you’re doing it, make sure you’re having fun, and I promise you complacency will be the last thing on your mind. You’ll be way too enveloped in all the things that matter to you.
On a final note, not everything in your job (or life) needs to make you happy (that will never happen). The point of this is to prevent yourself from losing sight of what matters to you. By embracing fairly small challenges and techniques to mix up your life, you’ll become more adaptable and willing to take on bigger changes when there’s a chance for you to pursue a new interest.