While we’ll never know who will profoundly change our lives, we can usually pick up on who’s interesting and who we want to get to know better. Today, we’re diving into a few strategies to increase the number of smart, unique, crazy, and interesting people in our lives.

Chances are, if I ask you to think about the people that changed your life, you’ll think of 1 or 2 almost immediately.

Unless you first met them as they saved you from a burning building, more often than not, we don’t realize the profound impact people will have on us or our worldview.

My initial encounter with my first real champion was ridiculous. Upon first meeting him in a Batman t-shirt (while I was in a suit for the interview), I could have never dreamt HE would influence the way I think so drastically. 

Before we begin, I fully believe in cutting the toxic people that complain about their lives but never do anything about it out your life. That said, everyone has a unique story with their own joys, aspirations, fears, and loves. Don’t judge people based on the merits of being ‘cool’ or ‘interesting’ enough- get to know people beyond the surface level.

So with that...

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What's the magic formula to meeting interesting people?

Luck.

Half-kidding, you should keep reading. Obviously there’s no single formula to meeting amazing people. A lot of it has to do with being at the right place at the right time. However, there are a few great ways to increase the likelihood of both.

Here's what I've focused on that has helped me meet the most interesting people I know.

 

Self-Development

Want to be with the best? Be your best. Want to be surrounded by interesting friends? Become more interesting. If you start by working on yourself you can never go wrong.

What are the most interesting aspects about yourself? When are you at your best and in your zone? What’s something crazy you’ve done? What have you built? What is your world view? What are you passionate about?

Ask yourself these types of questions and build an identity from the things that make you unique. This will help you get to know yourself better and increase your confidence.

Build out a minimum level of knowledge/experience across a certain breadth of things you find interesting. Being dynamic and caring about multiple fields will open doors.

In addition to being able to engage in and talk about diverse topics, you’ll also want to dive deeper into your passions. Truly interesting people do whatever it is they do because it’s their thing. Go chase yours.

Interesting people also surround themselves with people that stimulate their mind, challenge them, and make them think differently. By growing your familiarity with an array of topics while also developing your speciality, you’ll be able to engage with people at a deeper level. This will lead to more interesting conversations with new people and will make you more interesting to those around you.

Ask yourself, what stimulates you? Who makes you think differently? How do they challenge you? Imitate the good habits of those already around you.

 

Get yo-self out there!

Don’t wait for opportunity to come knocking but always keep one ear open for the doorbell.

There are two main categories that will drastically increase your likelihood of meeting interesting people.

 

Make New Experiences

Having diverse experiences and trying new (and perhaps slightly crazy) things will help you relate to more people, expand your horizons and what you can talk about, and diversify the types of people you meet. This is a powerful way to increase the likelihood of finding interesting people for three reasons.

1. There’s a good chance you’ll meet people at whatever event you’re at
2. You’ll have a new story that may become the commonality that sparks a new friendship
3. You’ll become more willing to leave your comfort zone behind, making you even more fun and interesting

Here are a few "experiences" I recommend:

• Talk to strangers on airplanes- before you plug in your headphones, make a new friend. Talk about more than the weather. Ask where they're from, where they're going, their favorite travel destination. I've met incredibly unique people on planes and one even became a lifetime friend and mentor.
• Try a group lesson/adventure- try dance lessons, join an improv team or a local sports group, take a cooking class. It literally doesn't matter. Minimum, you'll learn a new skill and will probably have fun. While you're there you'll also have a unique shared experience with others, which is the best way to start conversations with and get close to new people. Use the time to learn about what else they do.
• Do it for the story- Legally I think I need to tell you not to do anything that could get you arrested...but if you're with friends and the thought "this would make a great story" comes up - don't make excuses.

 

Cultivate new social circles

If you have an idea of the type of people you want to meet (as far as skills or specialty go)- go find them! 

Select an area you want to meet more people in. Say, a unique segment of the art community, entrepreneurs, a hobby of yours, etc. Find a way to break into that community and find people you look up to. Join Facebook groups, ask friends for introductions, go to events. 

If you’re in a Facebook group, see who posts interesting things. Send them a message asking for a phone call. I’ve done this with several people in a Facebook group for my favorite tech news company, The Hustle, and have met some crazy interesting people through it.

Step 1 - find and join a dope group/community you're interested in

Step 2 - reach out and meet all the cool people!

People are more willing to talk than you think so don’t be shy. The worst that happens is you won’t get a response or they turn out to be less interesting than you first thought.

Using this same principle and 2 step process, you can also send cold emails to people you look up to. This is especially useful if you don't share any smaller community groups and would have difficulty accessing their network. 

Again, don't be shy. If you're worried about cold emailing someone, write emails that are impossible to ignore.

As you meet people who are in similar fields to your passions, connect them to others they might find interesting and ask them for introductions as well. If your initial conversations went well, this is a great way to get a pre-vetted introduction to more cool people.

Just like how your friends’ friends are often people you’d enjoy hanging out with, people who do cool things in their respective fields have similar networks you can start tapping into.

 

Draw in the best

How to get awesome people to like you.

So far, most of this article has covered ways to become more interesting and to meet others. Equally important to surrounding yourself with the best is how you relate to and interact with others. AKA - getting them to want to hang out with you.

Rule #1. Always be more curious than interesting. You’ll learn way more and make way more friends.

No matter how interesting you are, if you don’t show interest in others, people won’t enjoy your company. Remember, interesting people surround themselves with people that stimulate and challenge them. You stimulate and challenge others by engaging with what they are saying. This is best done with breadth and depth of knowledge. Again, this is why your experience and self-development matters.

The most interesting people I’ve ever met are often humble. They reveal unique things about themselves bit by bit and are never rushed to say all the cool things they do. The most interesting people are the ones you learn something new about each time you talk to them.

When meeting new people, look for commonalities or aspects of them you find interesting. Be unique and memorable – ask interesting/weird questions. The fewer ‘normal’ things you talk about, the more memorable the conversation will be and the more you’ll stick out in someone's mind.

Find what the other person loves talking about (it often will relate to themselves or what they do). Guide the conversation there. "Ego theory" is real, get them into their zone.

Once you meet people you find fascinating, don’t let them slip away. Follow up with them. Invite them to hang out again, get another phone call with them, send them something that made you think of them. Keep them engaged and grow the relationship. 

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Finally, don’t put pressure on these conversations. Not everyone you meet is going to change your life. Most people won’t. This article is all about how to increase the likelihood you meet people that have a larger influence on you so be patient and enjoy the process.

 

If you’re not enjoying yourself while doing this, you probably won’t be quite as much fun to be around, which will also decrease the likelihood of sparking an interesting new friendship. This isn’t meant to discourage you – it’s meant to remove the pressure and to keep you focused on enjoying yourself and being yourself. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you to find and develop these relationships to surround yourself with the best.